Wrap rage?

So many rages these days. Wrap rage? Aren’t scissors the answer?

So many rages these days. Wrap rage? aren’t scissors the answer?

Nature is so wise, putting incisors in Humans, not for meat eating, but for their future creation of product packaging!

Man gets jailed for attack!

Man gets jail time for attacking his neighbor. He plead innocent; was only trying to open the dam blister package with a scissor; it slipped and stabbed his neighbor, who was standing there giggling and pontificating on the demise of society.

Jury decided that he was really mad at the pontification, not at the package. Asked Judge if they could visit the victim so that they could attack him too; they are sick of all these downers.

Yeah, I made it up. But, these packages are a PITA.

Its not just clamshell or hard plastic packaging. They are just too tight and have no dangling or extension to rip, cut, or undo.

One day I got a box of water crackers. They were tightly packaged, not even a piece at the end with the jagged edge that you could simply rip. Even a knife could not pry the ends open. No wonder primates are taking their time evolving.

Further reading
Wrap Rage

Don't give a fish, teach how …

A Chinese proverb reused for the market driven world

Remember that old “wisdom”? I saw this on the web yesterday:

“Don’t give a man a fish. Teach him to fish. Then sell him a bucket of bait, rent him tackle and a boat, and charge him per-hour to fish on your private lake.”

Hilarious! Has so many ways of interpretation, from just a joke, to perhaps a commentary on how the “real” world works.

If I were cynical, I would goof and say the GOP should use this in their 2012 Presidential campaign:

GOP 2012 Campaign Platform

Don’t give the poor, unemployed, under-employed, and downtrodden, any welfare-state bleeding heart liberal hand holding.

Let’s give them the bare minimum, then nickle-and-dime them to death; that is good return on capital!

[I’m independent, btw. I loathe the buffoonery of the American political process.]

Off topic:
Interesting that the quote would not even fit on a tweet.

Interesting Stuff

its vs. it's, give me a break!

At the risk of sounding uneducated and unsophisticated regarding the need for outstanding language skills to convey information and optimize one’s ability to frolic and play with fellow humans, I will say that it’s time to put away many atrocious grammar rules and pursue enlightened contextual interpretation (which Human brains excel at, by the way) starting with the its vs. it’s usage.

At the risk of sounding uneducated and unsophisticated regarding the need for outstanding language skills to convey information and optimize one’s ability to frolic and play with fellow humans, I will say that it’s time to put away many atrocious grammar rules and pursue enlightened contextual interpretation (which Human brains excel at, by the way) starting with the “its vs. it’s” usage requirement. The usage is, by the way:

“its” is a possessive, and “it’s” is a contraction of “it is” or “it has”

I’m sure just talking about this rule, correcting the millions of essays that get it wrong, and devoting space to the subject (like this post) is costing a sizable chunk of the Gruesome Domestic Product (GDP) index. That precious savings would have allowed us to purchase a few feet of highway paving or erect yet another statue somewhere.

And, I’m not just picking on the English language (really U.S.A English, the real one) other languages could do with some cleanup. Like why does Spanish use an upside down “¿” at the beginning of a question? ¿Is it because of that alleged Spanish passion? Does one need a starting signifier so that one can build up to the crescendo of the right-side up question mark?  

I can see that at work in a Spanish soap on TV.  “¿What, you don’t love me?”* is filled with multiple intonations, cadence, meters, colors, and lip quivers while the soundtrack replays the history of Operatic music.  It’s more like: ¿What ……. quiver …. stare … pace … YOU ….. yes you (in a commanding imperial voice) …. dramatic turn of the head …. don’t (with sharp intonation, abrupt tongue stop like woodwind technique) …. long pause … the film starts to move again and accelerate (Fellini would be proud) … love (soft, caressing, subtle lilt) … ME (now the venom comes out, spat, gruesome) … the actress metamorphosis into a Betty Davis caricature, a Spanish Werewolf in London … the soundtrack reaches its crescendo, Wagner is turning in his grave, oy vey!

Oops!  Got carried away there.  Hmmmmp.  Anyway, its or it’s?  Does it really matter?  In the age of Texting and information transfer of unprecedented levels (albeit, most of it garbage and misinformation) it just doesn’t matter.  Well, OK, you fancy pants writing erudite stuff can continue to use it, just don’t get hypo-oxygenated with your nose sticking up in the stratosphere.  Please, simply leave us poor mortals to wallow in the filth of “its vs. it’s” misuse.

———
* Using Google translate that is:  ¿Qué, usted no me quieres?

Links

It’s “its”! quote:  “… and I honestly apologize on behalf of the infuriating English language.  I didn’t invent this stupid rule ….”

Scientist at LHC isolate the Last Minute

Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the giant expensive project to probe the inner workings of nature has already been successful.   Scientist claim that they have isolated the Last Minute.  The Last Minute has been a very elusive particle, even rarer then the Higgs Boson.  Since the dawn of intelligent humans on earth there has been an unending wait for it.  Well, now no more.  If you been putting something off, “waiting for the last minute”, its time.   Take out the garbage, empty out the closet, go for a jog, and pet your dog.

News of this discovery was greeted by awe and cheer around the world.  A housewife in Florida, USA:  “Finally, my prayers are answered! My big lazy lard of a husband will finally get off the couch and fix that leak”.

In related news, scientist from major research institutions are exploring the vast physical consequences.  They ask, “is it divisible?  Do we need an even larger collider?”   Not since the bongo drum playing of the late Feynman has the physics world been so perky.  Reports of people walking into walls are on the increase.  String theorist are itching to write even more inscrutable papers but their fingers are tied up in knots.  Philosophers are falling into comas when recursively contemplating what happens to time when Last Minutes are used up.

Is the Last Straw next?