Scientist at LHC isolate the Last Minute

Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the giant expensive project to probe the inner workings of nature has already been successful.   Scientist claim that they have isolated the Last Minute.  The Last Minute has been a very elusive particle, even rarer then the Higgs Boson.  Since the dawn of intelligent humans on earth there has been an unending wait for it.  Well, now no more.  If you been putting something off, “waiting for the last minute”, its time.   Take out the garbage, empty out the closet, go for a jog, and pet your dog.

News of this discovery was greeted by awe and cheer around the world.  A housewife in Florida, USA:  “Finally, my prayers are answered! My big lazy lard of a husband will finally get off the couch and fix that leak”.

In related news, scientist from major research institutions are exploring the vast physical consequences.  They ask, “is it divisible?  Do we need an even larger collider?”   Not since the bongo drum playing of the late Feynman has the physics world been so perky.  Reports of people walking into walls are on the increase.  String theorist are itching to write even more inscrutable papers but their fingers are tied up in knots.  Philosophers are falling into comas when recursively contemplating what happens to time when Last Minutes are used up.

Is the Last Straw next?

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